how to overcome low self esteem

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how to overcome low self esteem

Post by clue on Thu Apr 24, 2008 8:17 pm

How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem

It is important to face life with a positive attitude rather than a negative attitude. Therefore, the importance of having good self-esteem is very clear. However, how can you improve your self-esteem?
First look in the mirror tell yourself “I like you,” and repeat it until you believe yourself, but make sure you do it when you are thinking good things. It is hard to be good, kind, and tolerant when you feel bad about yourself A friend of mine used to tell me that if I do not talk well about myself, who else will? People will evaluate me as I evaluate myself.

Keep the following points in mind:
Do Not Isolate Yourself
Perhaps you tend to be a loner and prefer to keep away from the crowd. If you do it too much, this can leave you open to negative thoughts and feelings and you will find no one to bounce these thoughts and feelings to. When you talk about your feelings to friends and family, it helps to put things into context and perspective. If you keep something to yourself, you often perceive it as bigger and more complicated than it really is. So keep with the crowd, but make sure it is a good crowd. It takes a brave person to mix with people, especially if you tend to be shy, but try because it is important for your health and development.
“Verily Satan is the wolf of a man just as the wolf is (the enemy) of the flock. He seizes the solitary sheep going astray from the flock or going aside from the flock. So avoid the branching paths, it is essential for you to remain along with the community.” (Imam Ahmad)

Keep Good Company
Hang around with friends who encourage you and do not put you down. At the same time, do not be afraid to accept positive criticism and do not feel ashamed to acknowledge that you have shortcomings—we all have them. It is a part of life, and what makes life so interesting and challenging is the fact that we can rise above the challenges and the weaknesses within ourselves.

Failing Is a Part of Life
If you happen to fail at something, it does not mean you are unqualified. Everyone fails from time to time and that is how we learn. My friend told me that her father used to say to her, “If people learn by their mistakes, you should be a genius by now!” Allah tests us on how we handle failure. Do we get back up if life knocks us down? How easily do we give up when the going gets tough? “The world stands back and makes way for the person who knows where they are going.” So if you fail from time to time keep going and never give up. We need to accept that sometimes we will fail. It reminds us of our limitations of being a human being. We might get carried away with this worldly life and we might become arrogant or snobbish, so sometimes Allah lets us fail, to keep us humble and to develop good character in us. Everything is for the good of the believer.

Make Realistic Goals
Set realistic goals for yourself. Do not be ambitious about achieving everything at the same time and then kicking yourself when you are not able to. Allah says that He will give us back what we give out to others and this is proven so often in life. You will find that if you are positive and encouraging to other people, most times people will be the same to you. This is very important to developing and maintaining our self-esteem.

Do Not Be a Statistic
Make up your mind not to be a statistic. You know the world today keeps records of just about everything we do, when we are born; when we die; who takes drugs; who marries when, where, and who; who dies of a drug overdose; who commits suicide; and who commits crimes and how long they stay in jail. Do not be a statistic in someone’s computer file, of a young person who did not make it through adolescence because they thought negatively about themselves.

Everyone Has Potential
Every person is born with great potential but few unfortunately achieve it, why? Because 1-they tend to give up too soon and too easily and 2-they listen to people telling them they are useless and lazy and as a result, they hide their heads in the sands of life like ostriches. Life passes these people by and they live their lives as failures and die as failures. This may seem a sad and depressing note in this article, however, I write it because I know for sure that it is easy to be a failure and it is also easy to be a success. It does not take a lot of time and energy to talk to yourself so negatively that you actually believe yourself, but if you simply choose to look at life from a positive angle and believe in yourself, trust in Allah Subhana wa Ta`ala, and follow His Commands, you will find that the tables will turn and you will succeed.
It is up to you to take the first step!

If you do not have good self-esteem—that means feeling good and hopeful about yourself—Satan will take advantage of the hesitation and feed us with negative thoughts and feelings until we reach for anything that will make us feel better: that can be alcohol, drugs, suicide, or being violent to people. Therefore, you see low self-esteem is a road that leads to nowhere. It leads to destruction and misery for the person and the others around him/her and Satan laughs because he has won another foolish human being and he will not be lonely in the Afterlife; he will keep the company of those who followed him and listened to his destructive, evil whisperings.

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Re: how to overcome low self esteem

Post by Blizz on Sat Apr 26, 2008 8:25 am

A very practical post, masha'Allah.
Jazaak'illahu khairan.


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